


Liar

by sansa_sandor_shipper



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/M, Fluff, Memories, Reunion, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-10 23:37:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4412360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansa_sandor_shipper/pseuds/sansa_sandor_shipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>' "No Little Bird, I won't hurt you." That promise had stayed predominantly in Sansa's mind for a long while. Seven years to be exact.</p><p>She felt cheated on account of it. She could not imagine him knowing how selfish he was that night, or how much she missed him</p><p> </p><p>The occurrences of ADWD never happened and the story has changed. Favoring Sansa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"No Little Bird, I won't hurt you." That promise had stayed predominantly in Sansa's mind for a long while. Seven years to be exact.

She felt cheated on account of it. She could not imagine him knowing how selfish he was that night, or how much she missed him.

But now he was dead anyway, so it wouldn't make a difference if she grieved. Now Sansa could see why everyone thought she was stupid, she had prayed while others accepted the truth. She always wished for a better world. Which she got only from her. Hard work, grit and determination, all off her own account.

Now she was the Queen in the North, like Robb had been King. No real royalty, but then what would you fight for if it was not a monarchy? Freedom she supposed. 

Baelish wasn't in sight thank the Gods, his hate and cunning had died along with him two years past. The same year Sansa's men murdered the Frey's, and set her uncle, aunt and young neice free. Chasing off Jaime Lannister with his tail between his legs. 

Winterfell had been a Starks for just a year and half, as Sansa's army had stayed quiet for years prior. The Bolton's had no idea when the new Stark army ambushed them through secret passages that Sansa knew. 

Now she rules the North in the deep Winter, mourning her cousin, brothers, sister, mother, father, friends, and her hound. She corrects herself everyday, reminding herself he was never hers. The Hound didn't nor ever shall love her, or care about her in a manner more than faint friendship. 

Anyway, if he ever were to turn up. She would probably cry and then try to hurt him like he hurt her. Sansa had prepared herself for that day, but it never came, because he didn't care. _He never cared_ , was all she could think. _I was a Numbskull young girl with an infatuation with a lion who gave me scars. Hardly what he wanted._

But now Sansa wasn't even half the girl she was, she was more like Arya than ever. The mourning had made her depressed as ever as she realized she was the last Stark, although, Sansa was very skilled in the army tactics. No one knew why, maybe just years of listening to the Lannisters since.

She had tortured Ramsay when her army took Winterfell, but had to murder all and every Bolton, and everyone of the Bolton house that remained. Spare Theon, she showed mercy apon him after she was told he didn't kill Bran and Rickon. 

When Sansa had found the beaten up silhouette of a girl, she had taken her in. Then Theon, who was just as greasy, dirty and beaten, told her it was Jeyne Poole, her ex best friend. Sansa got her best maesters to treat her and try to bring her back to health. When she did finally wake up, Sansa stayed with her for hours, scared she might slip away like everyone else.

Theon and a group of soldiers had been looking for Bran and Rickon since, searching everywhere. Obviously in no Stark house colours, for fear of being found out. Theon did send regular updates on their movements, but nothing had come of it yet.

She didn't even know where to start looking for Arya so she hadn't, her little sister had only been a memory for so many years. As Sansa, for the first time. Had accepted her family's death. She knew it couldn't be reversed and that they would always be in her mind because, what else could she do?

But she couldn't, she wouldn't accept Clegane's death. To Sansa that may be the death of her if she is provided a body, he changed everything for her. Without his teasing and malice, she would never have grown up, or woken up to reality. 

Even now she thought of him, when she had refused a sworn sheild she did, because Clegane was the only sworn sheild she had ever wanted. Well not the only thing she wanted from him. She wanted, him, himself, just his self, more than most things because there was a chance one good thing in her life was living. Which was rare at the moment. 

Sansa hadn't told anyone about what she was feeling for the brother of the mountain. That all he was seen as, the brother, not a person, not the one she knew was in there. Not the one she kissed. She kissed Sandor Clegane, the man she now knew she loved, the man that saved her on many occasions and the one Sansa wished, had ever, loved her.


	2. Chapter II

Sansa walked down the wide passage underneath Winterfell, through the crypts. Having ordered all Starks, that were confirmed dead, to be here. First to her aunt Lyanna, who she never met but was told was very much like Arya. In likeness and appearance.

Placing her hand lightly on the feather that still lay their she thought of the stories of her aunt. Also the things she now knew, about Jon, about Rhaegar Targaryen, about everything that had happened at the time of Roberts rebellion. From secret scriptures found behind and under Lyanna Stark's statue. No one had ever looked, but Sansa saw a broken piece of parchment near the stone and wasn't going to leave it to chance.

Brandon Stark was next to her aunt. The uncle she never met, who died from the same hand as her aunt. Rhaegar Targaryen, the reason this mess started in the first place, Sansa didn’t think she could ever support any Targaryen that ever lived. Her uncle died trying to save her grandfather, who she also never met, her grandfather was burned alive in his own armour and Brandon Stark had to pull a leather cord that was around his neck to try to reach a sword to save his father. Both men watching each other die.

Then moving along to her father's statue, she bit her lip to stop the tears that she knew very well, from previous visits here. Closing her eyes she could still see her father, when he smiled, and when he was serious, his head, his death, then all the older hazy memories at Winterfell. It broke Sansa’s heart when she realised she was forgetting them, the only person who could now tell those stories kept on forgetting them. When she saw her mother’s statue, she broke down, and fell to her knees crying, hugging the stone and wishing for anything else to have happened, anything, anyone else to have died but not her family. Especially her mother, there was so much her mother didn’t teach her, about being a lady like she was, serious when she had to be and joyful at others. Always wanting the best for her children.

Sansa had refused to have empty caskets and statues made for, Bran, Rickon and Arya, as she didn’t want to believe they were dead, she refused to. But Robb, well Robb was there. The brother she had the moat memories with, the one that she grew up with more so than her other siblings. He was a good king, he would have still been a fine one, if men hadnt murdered him her mother and their army in cold blood. Sansa didn’t understand why people couldn’t just leave Robb alone. He just wanted to defeat the Lannisters. Wasn’t that what everyone in the North wanted?

“Your Grace, I hate to disturb you. But, a letter from Theon Greyjoy has arrived.” Turning around, Sansa dried her eyes and walked to the young man, who must only be her age. Taking it from his hand she opened the parchment.

 

_**Lady Sansa,** _

  
_**We haven’t found the boys, but, we have received information from a sea captain that a boy a wildling woman and a large dog exited on Skagos. The believe I also know the wildling woman they speak of which just affirms my theory that it would be Rickon. But it does mean that we would be focussing on finding Rickon as, we have no knowledge of even where to start looking for Bran. I hope this letter will set your mind at rest at least for a small while. I shall send word soon.** _

  
_**Theon Greyjoy** _

 

Sansa put a hand to her mouth and then smiled widely. Turning around to the statues of her family and smiling, she looked at the young man infront of her and carried on smiling before she ran out of the crypt. Up the stairs and through the courtyard, she didn’t stop for the bowing men on smiled and ran. Up to Jeyne’s room and burst through the door where she was eating lunch.

“Jeyne, they might find him. They might find Rickon!” Getting up quickly Jeyne Poole ran to her friend and hugged her. Even though the pressure to her wounds probably hurt Jeyne was hugging Sansa anyway, because she knew how important this was.

Behind Jeyne, Sansa saw a man in a hooded cloak of great height with a limp trying to enter through the gate and guards stopping him, talking to him with an arm across the entrance. Neither men seeming to budge.

“What do you expect that is about?” Sansa said opening the window and nodding to the two men. Jeyne shrugged.

“He’s obviously not local if they wont let him in. Maybe he’s a merchant trying to sell you gold and diamonds.” Sansa shook her head.

“No, I’ve never seen a merchant as tall as that and why would they be here in the cold of winter? I think, he’s a man, who is looking for work as a kennel master or work in a smithy. He would fit that description, but, he does have a limp, so what could he want?” Smiling to herself Jeyne sat on the window sill.

“Maybe he’s searching for his lady love, thaf he lost or some fairy story like that. To think, we used to believe that nonsense, how were we no naïve?” Shrugging Sansa walked to the door and said goodbye to her friend before exiting down the stairs and walking out into the courtyard.

Walking through the courtyard she got the the main gate and asked one of the other guards who wasn’t talking to the man, who he was.

“He says he’s a brother from the quiet isle with a message for you, your Grace, from the elder brother.” Nodding Sansa suddenly saw the dark horse behind the stranger. _Only one man had ever had a horse like that. But he’s dead._

Sansa left the soldier and walked closer to the men, the hooded stranger bowing his head more as Sansa got closer, she told the soldiers to leave her and the stranger alone. When they had gone she started at the hood.

“Pull back your hood brother. Or at least tell me your name. I am your Queen, obey me, or should I ask Stranger?” With the mention of the horse the brother put a scared hand to his hood and rose his head pulling the hood back. It was him, T _he Hound Sandor Clegane. Back from the dead._

“No, you can’t, you were dead, you were dead. They told me you were dead.” Putting a hand to her mouth she let tears stream freely down her face. All Sansa wanted to do right now was to fall into his arms and for him to hold her. Dearly, but she knew she couldn’t, not there anyway.

“Come with me to the stable, Brother. Put up your hood.” The two and a horse walked to the stable and Clegane put Starnger into a stall. He then followed Sansa through a back door and up the stairs into another private door to an empty room. Sansa pulled him with her and stood him in the middle of the room yanking down his hood.

“How could you. How could you lie to me all this time! You broke your promise as you had made it, a false hope it gave me, how are you even here? Why are you here? Don’t you understand? I, I.” She stopped herself from saying the words she longed to hear from him.

“What promise?” That hurt, it hurt more than a fresh cut.

“You said you would keep me safe, you said that you would take me home, you told me you would take my song, and, you told me you wouldn’t hurt me. You broke every promise you ever made to me!” Sansa was shouting now and she didn’t care if people could hear her.

“You said you didn’t want to come with me!” He retorted.

“That’s only because Dontos-“ Stopping herself quickly she realised what she had said.

“Dontos what Sansa? What did he do?”

“He, he said he would save me. He talked of us being Florian and Jonquil and he did. He saved me, not you. You did nothing, and watched me get beaten and left me in a lions den. With no protection, no hope. It was only when Dontos saved me that I escaped, and became a different identity. It’s been 7 years, and not one day has gone when I haven’t thought about you. Didn’t you think about that?” Tears were in her eyes now, rolling down her cheeks and neck and she couldn’t stop.

“No I didn’t. I didn’t think you would spare one moment for me. And after that, well I suppose I’m lucky you ever mourned me.”

“Why would you tell me all those things at the night of the blackwater if you didn’t mean any of them? Why would you bring up my hope then to have it slashed but then not even take me with you?” Clegane suddenly looked confused.

" How was I to know you wanted to leave.” _What._

“Yes you did. Or even so, you knew I wouldn't be safe there and yet you still left me behind.” He shook his head.

“Don’t bring this all back to me Sansa, I’m not the enemy. Alright, I’m not. You chose not to come with me and I left, I thought you didn’t want me there anyway, that you were scared. Don’t say you weren’t because you were. How was I supposed to know with no notification that you wanted me to stay, or to force you to come with me?” _When you put it like that._

Sansa sat down on the cold floor hugging her knees, feeling like the thirteen year old again. He sat next to her with the limp leg stretched out. Leaning on his shoulder Sansa put a hand around his stomach and hugged him, seeming surprised it took him a little longer to encircle her with a strong arm.


	3. Chapter 3

Sandor had either been in the yard trying to get his leg back to normal health, and practicing with a long sword that wasn’t his, his, well he wouldn’t tell Sansa where it was. Or the Hound was in his room, he never once came to see Sansa or anyone else spare his horse.

He had been at Winterfell near a month now and people had just accepted the fact he was staying, they didn’t question it, as it was from the Queens personal ruling. The fact he almost refused any connection with Sansa. It hurt her if she was honest, but she didn’t even talk to Jeyne about any of it. Her best friend couldn’t even understand why he was staying let alone realise the reason why. Sansa didn’t think she really liked Jeyne as a beat friend in all honesty, she wasn’t anything like Sansa, after she had got almost, rehabilitated, she was back to her same girly self. Which Sansa was no longer, of course there was an odd twinge of her old self, but not daily.

So Sansa decided that in the dead of night she would go to Sandor Clegane’s room and see what he would do, in full dress of course. Sansa wasn’t that confident yet, she hadn’t gone bare infront of anyone before, even when she was nearly raped and when she was beaten on court, she had never been naked. It never occurred to Sansa how strange that would be, she knew it wasn’t esactly honourable. But, the young Dragon mother was spoken to have survived a fire naked, her hair singed but body untouched by the flames at only thirteen.

Although Sansa would always leave out the fire, especially in Sandor’s case. Sansa blushed, having forgotten where she was. Suddenly she brought herself back to reality, _where the hell am i? Oh god I’m in the throne room there’s a map, shit, shit, shit, there talking battle plans._

“There is still word of the Targaryen, she’s now succeeding in Mereen with that cult gone. Then the Lannister are slowly diminishing in the South. Also of course Stannis at the Wall, we still owe him, and the Martells don’t seem to hold anything against us.” One of the Lord’s finished. Sansa couldn’t be bothered to try and remember his name, she was too tired for anything, staying up all night thinking, about birds and dogs. No one had asked her about anything yet, so Sansa didn’t say anything, what she really wanted to do was to get up and leave. So she did, she stood up and looked at the Lord’s before her.

“When you come to a conclusion about something call on me, not till then.” Walking away from the great hall Sansa walked out to the balcony covered part of the yard, where Sandor was, she beckoned him toward the stables and he followed like a puppy.

“Why have you ignored me the past month?”Sansa asked after she had pulled Sandor’s hand to the secret room that Sansa wanted to label as their own.

“I haven’t.” They stood in the middle of the room once more and Sansa stood looking up into his eyes. Trying to get some sort of emotion from his face, but found none, her eyes carelessly straying to the burned side of his face, which seemed to droop where it was and it was redder than Sansa remembered.

Not seeming to care anymore about her looking, Sandor stayed still as she studied him, slowly Sansa put her hand forward. Touching his shoulder with her hand, then slowly down his tunic covered biceps and arms. His biceps felt smaller than before but she didn’t seem to care, not having felt many biceps in her time. That made Sansa smile as she ran her finger along his wrist and he pulled it away.

“What’s funny?” Sandor asked.

“Nothing. I just thought of something.” That didn’t seem to reassure him in any way. But he let Sansa flutter her fingertips down his other shoulder, bicep and wrist. As her fingers met the end of his arm she brought her hands back to her sides and clutched her dress with them.

“Why are you here” Sansa finally said.

“To serve a family who is fighting the Lannisters” He stared at the floor and refused to look at her even when she tried to pull up his head.

“You could have gone to any other House. Why here, why now after I thought you were long dead and gone?” Trying to turn and head for the door, Sansa tried to pull him back by his arm but suddenly he wrenched his head around and looked like the Hound again.

“Get the fuck off me!” He roared, Sansa pulled her hand back like it had been scolded, turning into the thirteen year old again and walking backwards, fear and tears in her eyes. Turning around Sansa began to cry, she didn’t want him to see her weakness. It was important that he never saw her weak. There was no movement in the room for a few seconds until she heard Sandor go out. Then she fell onto the floor in her dress and cried, weeping in fear and resentment. For the rest of that month, Sansa didn’t even go near Sandor, to scared to even step near him.

* * *

Sandor didn’t understand why she couldn’t see he was completely and utterly terrible for her. That he could never be what she wants her husband or her lover to be, which made him want her more. But she hadn’t come near him for the last few weeks and he didn’t know how to make it right.

He supposed, she wasn’t young anymore and he had to treat her differently than he did when she was younger. The fact she wasn’t a child anymore worried him, he only knew how to deal with the child of her and there didn’t seem to be any of her left. Purely being a war focused no fun queen. She had no energy or excitement anymore, making everything as boring as he was. Which he didn’t want to happen to her, he loved that side of her, and now it was gone he wasn’t sure whether he still wanted her as much as he used to.

She would never know how hard it was to come to those gates and to see her, crying and trying to be strong. Sandor Clegane associated everything from Kings Landing and the past with the Hound, including her. He didn’t earn to come to terms with his past he just wanted to forget, but every time he looked at her, he just saw her fire red hair and the green thread in her dresses. Reminding him of the Orange and green flame on the last night he had seen her, a scared child.

All the bad memories in Kings Landing came back to him when he saw her, the thirst to kill, the hatred, the want to hurt, the want to rape her. He had to admit that many a time in Kings Landing he had wanted to come to her room and tie a rag around her mouth and tie her up so he could take her. But every time he ever got close to her door he stopped himself and just stood guard outside, leaving before morning.

Apart from the Blackwater, he was so intoxicated that every decision was going to be a bad one. Although his drunk self was convinced coming to her room ready to take her was a good thing, he couldn’t do it. He tried to be the knight she wanted, and offer to take her with him to her family, but even when he was a knight she only saw the Hound and it made him angry. So he pressed her to the bed and got nose to nose with her, not caring if anyone took him away from her, because right now he was going to take her in anger and that was the important bit. But he still couldn’t he looked down at her and even with a bit of blood smeared of her face she was beautiful and unspoiled. He didn’t want to hurt her, ever. He pressed himself onto her leg but she didn’t react. Then when her hand reached up for his face he nearly flinched but she just stroked his face so innocently it made him cry silently. Knowing he would be leaving her, it but he stomach turn and his chest grow tense with the need to bring her into his arms. But he stood up and she sat in the dark and uttered her name one last time before leaving his cloak at the door.

Now in the present he remembered and sat down on his bed head in hands. Crying openly now, with no silence and with tiny cries out for her, he tried to forget her, her smile, her hair, her eyes, her scent, her lips, her laugh. He couldn’t, it was almost impossible to forget completely unforgivable if he left. Now it was too late, she had unknowingly sucked him back into her life and he hated it, because still he couldn’t have her. Who wants the new hope, the Queen in the North married to hopeless wanderer who can’t do anything right aside from killing? Adding to that he was once technically an ally to the Lannisters, their enemy, they had only just accepted he was staying in Winterfell anything else he did would achieve nothing.

But he wanted Sansa even more than at Kings Landing because now, he was lonely. He was parched of any contact that he wanted, in Kings Landing he could insult and annoy and have spite. But that had almost all but left and no one came near him, why did anyone ever say only love will win in the end? Even so, the way he started with Sansa had hardly set a good scene, he killed her sisters best friend, and then scared her. But, at the tourney when he saved that Tyrell from being murdered from his brother, she stood and clapped. Was it for him? Or for the Tyrell being so 'selfless' in saying that Clegane saved him? Maybe he would never know. Did he want to? At this point he believed it was for him and he didn’t want to be proved wrong.

He had run away from Kings Landing in clouds of shame, following a road anywhere else, even though he was sorry for what he had done, the real story was never told. Also because she was young although he was not old, he couldn’t take her if she did not want to leave. But now he was more ashamed than he had been, he ran and ran and ran. Trying to get away from anything that reminded him of her. But her sister found her way to him and it nearly made him weep with memories of her. But now he didn’t want to admit his folly toward her, overall he didn’t want to tell her why.

Even when he was travelling with stranger, with no real thought of her, the absence of his white kingsguard cloak reminded him of her. The walls she would build between them, how she didn’t seem to understand his attraction, and didn’t seem, well he knew she wasn’t attracted to him. All Sandor knew, was that he would try everything he could to break those walls down forever.

He wanted to hold her to have her to love her to be there for her every need. Never to leave ever, and know he knew he couldn’t. This was when she would need another soldier most, even of he would be a shit one and a slow one, he was still better then most of the men he had sparred with. They were all weedy little bakers sons or big burly blacksmith sons or the worst type, the healthy ones who were so cocky about their strength people didn’t seem to care that they couldn’t use a sword, but Sandor wasn’t going to let these fucktards be part of Sansa’s army. So, Sandor The Hound Clegane took on about 30 different teenagers training them in groups of 5 on how to fight in different ways, with different weapons. He reminded himself of Syrio Forel. The water dancing sword of Braavos, he might have hated the man but could not say he was a bad swordsman. He could beat men with steel swords with a wooden one, it was quite a specter to watch.

Although Sandor supposed she wasn’t the child he remembered and she never would be again, with her innocence taken away. In truth she is a child that grew up to fast, probably given these duties when she was only of a young age, that wasn’t fair, like me, she didn’t get a true childhood. Most of it taken at a very young age, by the Lannisters. They seem to take everything these days,I suppose Cersei deserved the death of two of her children. Though Myrcella didn’t deserve the death she got. Slow and painful, now some of the Martells want their revenge for her and Oberyn, and others want to wage war over the Lannisters. Very confusing.

But as Sandor Clegane stepped into his bathroom and undressed, he realised his dreams were stupid, and he should just be a man with no dreams or ambitions. Just taking life as it hit him. Sinking down under the water the water cleaned his body and he felt like a new man, one who wouldn’t have any reason to live for. He was more comfortable with that then anything else. Forgetting about Sansa could be the biggest mistake or the best thing he had ever done.

* * *

“Why are you such a bitch?!” Sansa yelled at Jeyne and pushed her out of the door slamming it shut.

“Why are you, so fucked up?!” Jeyne retorted outside. Sansa just wanted to punch her in the face. But she knew calling her a bitch was bad enough for people to see, _and I don’t feel like breaking my knuckles on her thick head!_ Sansa had opened up to Jeyne about some of her feelings toward Sandor, and she had called her fucked up and weird and stupid, she had opened up to her and all Jeyne did was judge her. Was this really what Sansa had been like all those years ago?

“At least I have feelings, and don’t bitch about people, you’re a stone hearted wench who got her maiden head taken by Ramsay Bolton! Who cares what you think, you have nothing, because you judge people and are horrible toward them. I took you in and now I regret all that I did! How dare you judge what I feel.” She yelled through the door. Thank the God’s Sansa’s room wasn’t anywhere near anyone else’s, or they would have come to see if she was okay.

“They why don’t I leave, go to the Lannisters and tell them everything. They still think the Boltons reside in Winterfell, maybe I’ll tell them everything. To bring the world as you know it to come crashing down.” That shut Sansa up, she took a minute to think of a reply. She opened the door to look at Jeyne

“Ill throw you in a cell, you’ve threatened me, now I can persecute you for it, you insulted a queen-"

“Your not a queen! You keep saying you’re the Queen, but your not a queen! Robb was not a king, you aren’t even wardens anymore stop acting like you are something, when your not!” Stepping out of her doorway, Sansa rose to her full height above Jeyne. Glaring down at her.

“If you say anything about my brother, rest his soul, or my family in that fashion ever again, I will personally have you beheaded, with or without a reason.” That made Jeyne look a little scared. Then as Sansa called for her guards, ordering them to take her to the cell next to the one that Ramsay Bolton was still in. It was cruel, Sansa knew, but she wasn’t going to let anyone get away with saying things like that.

Sansa wanted to go and see Sandor, he was the only person she wanted to be with right now, but, he didn’t want to see her, and she felt almost ashamed of herself at needed him. Sansa had grown into a full fledged feminist, and she felt it was against what she had been teaching to need him. But she did, hating to admit it, Sansa needed Sandor, and she didn’t know how long she could take it before she just jumped into his arms.


	4. Chapter four

“We should rest soon.” Anguy said to Theon. The party of about 6 was just boarded in Skagos and needed to find an inn or somewhere to 'rest from weary travels’ The archer said . But considering the fact that Skagos was basically just mountains wasn’t very comforting, Theon was worried that they might have to take camp somewhere on a mountain or in a forest. Which if he was honest, he had no urge to do. So the party of about six walked away from the docks and closer to something that looked like a small village.

Theon had never met Skagosi and didn’t really want to, with the rumours of cannibalism, sacrifices and them being like wildlings made it quite hard to be excited about meeting any. But he was more anxious about how Rickon would react to seeing him, after the terrible things he’d done. Right infront of the little Prince. He didn’t expect Rickon to forgive him, but hoped he would go to his sister. She’s a good ruler and a good person. Plus, he would become ruler in the North when he returned to Winterfell, him and Sansa had alreadly agreed that.

When the party of about six came to an inn that was rowdy and full of men, they stopped with hands on their swords and arrows. Theon strolled in first, he could have looked a little dodgy from the tooth loss , but he had got teeth put in and wore gloves to cover the loss of fingers. Getting back in shape, and cleaning up, as it were, was easy, once he found his motivation of the North becoming great again. Coming up to a man near the serving desk he eyed left and right before making eye contact.

“How many beds max in a room?” Theon looked the man up and down, getting only a little nervous about meeting Skagosi now.

“Three, that’d be two a for youse folk. Or is youse more than a six?” The man seemed drunk, but Theon had known enough people with almost never understandable accents to be able to understand them.

“No, were just about six.” Theon stopped talking and a laugh escaped his mouth as he looked at Gael. The other men apart from Gael laughed too, covering their mouths in an attempt to stop the sound.

“Just two. Please.” He delayed the thanks to see the man’s reaction to none.

So the party of about six lay down there weapons for the night, with people taking watch of course. Theon was with Anguy and James, and the other room was Gael, Rhees (like Rhys or Reece) and Pate. If you were wondering, it’s called the party about six, just because Gael was an eunuch and the other men took humour over it. Even Gael had now chuckled about it a couple of times, as it had become the name of their party.

Laying back in his bed Theon thought back on the happenings of the last few years and all the good Sansa had done in a year, he was genuinely overwhelmed with joy when her army had destroyed Winterfell's owners at the time. Theon, or Reek, had been absolutely and completely scared of the Boltons. Hating everything they did to everyone.

Ramsay had cause him so much emotional and physical pain, it had left Theon literally a shell of who he used to be. As he had to endure months of some what therapy in an attempt to get him back to being, Theon.  
It was fairly hard for Reek to become Theon again, after the years and years of endless pain, he had only ten months for rehabilitation. Or, Sansa had said, that she wouldn't have him as one of the leaders in her army, and that she wouldn't allow him any more treatment, saying it would be wasted. Theon didn't want to be abandoned for a second time so he tried his very best as Reek to become what he had been.

In the morning the party of about six came down to the hall where it was jammed packed with men. They saw two tables at opposite sides of the room, one with a brown haired tanned skin girl on it, and the other empty, the empty table fitting only five.

"You five go sit there and I'll sit on the other one." Said Theon. The other five wolf whistled a bit as he said it, and Theon grinned shamefully. Walking to one of the serving girls, he asked for 6 wine skins and 6 meat plates. Giving her the money he coughed and looked toward the girl on the table.

She looked quite tall, about Sansa's height, with narrow shoulders, tanned skin, dark eyes and hair, wide hips, a small waist , flat stomach, seemingly curved legs and fairly big breasts. Maybe a shop owners daughter or a working girl.

This may seem strange that Theon could eye up so much of a person in one look. But the Theon before he had been Reek, had been quite the play boy, seducing women for years, and he knew how to get women as well as seducing them. He had since then put them into practice, but wanted to try once again.

Sitting next to the girl and leaning onto the bench, the girl gave him a sideways look and then looked to the other seats. Theon could see she was feeling awkward, so he sat right infront of her, making it impossible for her to miss his eye line.

"What are you doing to find yourself in Skagos?" He stared at her, intently

"I came from Moles Town." That was near the wall, Theon knew it, _Did the white walkers attack it?_ Theon asked himself.

"Can I press you for why ?"

"I suppose there's no harm in it. The White walkers hurt us, my village I mean. They attacked and took it from us, murdering everyone. But I got away somehow. What about you?" _Well fuck_

"Looking for my, brother, I'm Theon." He cursed silently after realizing he'd said his name but she didn't seem phased.

"I'm, Eliza." The girl said. She smiled a little bit at Theon before looking back down at her table. Then Theon's food came, he swallowed down some of the sour and saw Eliza watching him drink it. Then watching him eat the meat and bread biting her bottom lip. Theon had nearly finished when he realised she might not have had any food and pushed the plate toward her. First she looked at him. But he smiled encouragingly.

As she began to eat he added. "I'm sorry about your town." She waved it off.

"It's okay, I've learnt to live without things I can't have. Like family. But I suppose. What is dead may never die. But you don't have to pretend, I know your from the north and that you have resided it winterfell. I'm not blind or stupid turncloak." Staring her straight in the face he put a hand in his sword.

"Don't bother, I don't want to reveal your secret, I just want to tell you I know. Also, that I had worked in Winterfell when you were there. Also my name's Alyssa not Eliza. Your not here looking for your brother. So why are you here turncloak?" Theon rubbed his head and pushed back his hair.

"Why should I tell you?"

"What's the harm in telling me? Who am I going to tell, I've been here in Skagos since I fled the Boltons. I don't have friendships. There pesky little bastards." She still stared down at the table.

"Why don't you come with me then, and my party, obviously." Even if Theon was wary of her, he liked her .

"I will go with you but, only if you tell me why your really here." Cursing under his breath Theon chewed his lip deciding.

"If you come with us, after a week I shall judge whether you should know why, but not before. That's my only offer, and afterward you can go home." She looked hopeful and scared but couldn't seem to reach his eyes. Suddenly there was a great sound behind Theon, he looked behind him and a group of about eight men strolled in, laughing and drunk save one who looked . He heard Alyssa almost yelp and then she pulled up her hood and hid her face.

"Who are those men?" Theon's voice was less than a whisper. He didn't look round and just tightened his grip on his sword.

"Bolton men, they had before her fight back, gone out to search for Sansa Stark, but since the Bolton's were ruined they have been serving the Lannisters. But they're looking for me."

"Why, Alyssa?" Theon whispered angrily.

"I was a maid and a cleaner in Winterfell for the years the Boltons were there and while I was there I fed information about the Boltons plans and there plans with the Lannisters, to Petyr Baelish, the wall, Stannis Baratheon, and Doran Martell. When Ramsay Bolton found me in his room looking through draws, he and his guards chased me through the castle but I got away on a horse and got to Skagos as a stowaway. Those men have been looking for me serving the Boltons and now the Lannisters for a long time, and I'm not going to get caught now. So if you'll let me I'm leav-"

"No your not, your coming with me. That's it. Stand up when I do and walk over to the table with my friends on it. I'll go behind you." Pulling her mottled dark blue cloak around her, Alyssa ducked in and out of the people with Theon right behind her.

"Get up you five, be mindful and don't ask any questions, just get outside." Theon went first and shuffled past the men with an arm around Alyssa. But one of the big men in the group stopped him.

"She not staying for the party?" His accent was thick and burly.

"My 'ore, paid for 'er myself. Mine now, we'a going to travel back to sea." Theon's accent was impeccabley good, he was accustomed to many accents and took one of a wildling he had known before he was Reek. Plus the fact there were wildlings on the island, which made the accent more likely. The burly man nodded and then took hold of Alyssa's arm.

"Lets see you then?" He aid and Theon looked from the party of about five, to Alysa to the burly man and nodded to the party.

Five of the eight men had gone to sit down, and two drunk ones remained with the marginally less drunk one.

"That's 'arder than it seems. You see, she mine, and'i tend to keep it that way." Theons men were coming up behind the other three and Theon knew he had to stall for a little longer till they could kill th three.

"We just want a look mate, you got a problem wiv that?" Suddenly, the five swung into action, slitting the throats of the three they quickly running out of the inn. Theon held Alyssa's hand as they ran to the stables and stole six horses.

Alyssa went with Theon and went in front of him, holding onto the mane on the horse. Keeping one hand securely around Alyssa's waist Theon led the group deep into the forest undergrowth. Till they had been riding for about half an hour. Then they slowed and came to a rest, Alyssa lay back onto Theon's chest and closed her eyes. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

“I would like to meet with Lord Stannis to discuss, certain horrific ideas his red priestess has tried to reinforce.” Sansa said to the Lord’s after they had discussed the happenings in Westeros.

“Melisandre My Lady?” One of the fat Lord’s Sansa didn’t remember the name of said.

“Yes, Melisandre, she intrigues me and I wish to tell her what I think of her. Proposals, especially regarding the ones she still has for The Princess Shireen.” The Red Woman, had said the ridiculous things about the Princess that Sansa feared, she couldn’t have Stannis's heir dead. Her and Stannis had signed a treaty meaning that neither would attack each other, and that they would have an alliance. An alliance to change the rulers at Kings Landing.

“But she could convert you My Lady.” The same Lord replied, smirking. W as stood up and whacked her hands on the oak long table.

“If you ever think I would change the God’s my family have believed in for getting generations your are wrong My Lord! I would not convert to such ideas of insanity for anything! Never speak to me with such ease again Sir, or I will cut your throat! I am the birth right queen until either my father or eldest brother rise from the dead, or my younger brothers return. Until then you shall never talk to me in such a way!” She yelled, her voice was deeper now, and she sounded scary when she could be. Her eyes were daggers on the Lord and she didn’t stop until he was sitting up straight and not slouching like the rest of the Lord’s around the table.

“We are done for the day, get a raven to the wall telling them I shall be there by the next month.” Standing up, Sansa rushed out of the hall and didn’t look back. Outside the hall, she closed the great doors behind her and leant against the wall the other side of the door. Looking that she was alone, she sunk down to the ground and began to cry. They doubt me, I’m not strong enough for this. How will I see this war through? Why did you have to die Robb, you could have won the war for us, they loved you, you were strong and you knew what was expected of you. They respected you too, they don’t think I can do it because I am a woman. It’s not fair.

“Need some help?” She heard a familiar voice, that she never thought she would hear again. Looking up, it was Harrold Hardyng, with Myranda Royce and May Stone. She knew them as Alayne Stone, not as Sansa. She thought they were dead, after the vale was destroyed. Standing up she smiled at her old friends then their faces were of shock. Sansa didn’t know why, but their stomachs began to grow red. Deep red, claret velvet, blood red. There hands went to their stomachs each in turn then they began to scream, and it felt like her eardrums were exploding. High pitched screams turned to sirens as they wailed.

“You did this, you killed us. You ordered for the vale to be destroyed, murdered your friends!” The three said in unison as there eyes were just blood, with no eyeballs. Blood was pouring down them and making a red stain on the floor. Sansa began to cry.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you!” she yelled, but the three rose up looking like three of the seven hells, raising their arms they shot light from their palms and destroyed Winterfell. Making Sansa scream and fall to the ground in pain as she was dragged from her home.

Her brothers body with a wolf’s head was pulled from the ground, her father’s bones were scattered on the floor, her mother’s pale blue body was Fullerton the river, and the dead bodies of Rickon, Jon, Bran and Arya were getting eaten by wolves. Blood was engulfing Winterfell, it was melting the stone till there was nothing left, and Sansa knelt on the floor, in the small level of blood, her hands were stained and she couldn’t get up. She couldn’t get up, and she tried to scream, but she couldn’t. Only watch as her family’s bodies were burned.

Sweating, screaming and drowning, Sansa woke up. She was in a stone cold bath under the surface, quickly sitting up she coughed out water, and blood. Hugging herself, she stayed as still as she could.


	5. chapter 5

The party of now, about seven, rode through the rocky places around Skagos, they decided to go to the top and work their way down. Looking for Rickon.

As she didn't know anyone else, Alyssa stayed with Theon on his horse and clung to his left hand and arm that he didn't need for the horse. The fact she touched him, fully aware of his loss of limbs, comforted him. No woman had since being tortured and he hadn't tried. But even if she was only doing it because she was scared. She wasn't scared of him, which was new for Theon.

Then again, she could be scared of him. After he basically kidnapped her, she had a reason to be, but he sort of saved her too. So she owed him, maybe that was enough for her to trust him? Or maybe she was here for money? Theon just wanted to push these thoughts away. They wouldn't help him focus in searching for the little Prince.

_Seven years. Rickon would be about ten and four, Bran would be ten and six I think. It's been almost a decade since Sansa has seen her brothers. It's cruel like everything seems to be. The world had been cruel to the Stark family, anyone could agree that. Losing most of them in a matter of years, or any word of them that is._

“Let’s stop here.” Theon suddenly said at the sight of a hot spring. Alyssa woke from her sleep at the sound of Theons voice and turned her body a little to bury her head in his tunic and lay her hands on one of his thighs. Causing Theon to have to adjust himself. _Fuck you boners._

Walking the horses closer to the spring the other men in the party got off their horses and pulled their shirts off with the rest of their clothes. Jumping into the spring, with whooping and laughter. This still didn’t wake Alyssa as she lay on Theon's chest.

Not hoping for to much Theon got close to the horses ear and whispered “Down.” It did nothing. He tried again and again then decided on a different word. “Lie.” The horse obeyed and sat down, folding it’s legs under itself. This allowed Theon to pick Alyssa up and sit down with her by a tree, he leant on it.

Pulling her legs up, she buried her head once again on Theon and he didn’t feel he could move. The rest of his party smirked and laughed as loud as you like Theon didn’t stop them though. Not feeling it fair.

“Aw, has the commander got a girlfriend?” They mocked. But Theon was unphased.

“I bet even as Reek I would have got more women than you lot.” They yelled protest and laughs once more.

“If you count Ramsay Bolton as your women, we have no objections.” Rhees said. Erupting a laugh from Theon and all his men. Which weren’t to rare with this lot, if it was one about whores, the enuch, sex, or just plain disgusting things, the party of about six would always be smiling. Through everything, these men didn’t let sadness or loneliness get in the way.

Theon looked down at Alyssa who was now resting her head on Theons shoulder and basically sat astride his crotch, which made Theon want to adjust the _Godsdamn boner_ he had. But he couldn’t. It was pressing against her leg under her skirts. Making It almost impossible to move It.

“Got a stiff one there sir?” Anguy asked coming to the side of the spring.

* * *

Waking up, Alyssa didn’t open her eyes or move, she was leaning against something that was so comfortable she didn’t want to move. Running her hand down whatever she was leaning on it felt like a fabric, maybe a bed? She didn’t know. But she clutched the fabric and breathed out slowly turning her head so her lips were on whatever her head was on. She felt what she never thought she would, skin on skin. Pressing her lips onto what she felt, Alyssa put the top of her tongue on the surface and it tasted salty. But the person she seemed to be on didn’t move.

Opening her eyes slightly she tilted her head once more and saw the hair of who she was leaning on. Dark brown and curly, then saw his face. _Theon_. It was Theon, he knight in shining armour to an extent. She pushed her head closer to his neck and buried it their running her hand up his tunic and resting it on the cord. Feeling a certain type, of attraction toward him she wasn’t getting up any time soon. But she did feel stiff.

She felt one of Theons hands on her hip and slowly slide down her dress to her backside, his other hand began to stroke her hair, making her more relaxed as his gloves threaded through her hair. With anyone else it would have felt wrong, or inappropriate, but Alyssa felt an intimacy with Theon that she couldn’t explain, and no one else would understand. He pushed her head onto his chest and leant his head on her crown.

“I'll keep you safe.” He was barely a whisper, but she heard it, a promise to come. No one had ever said that to her, and she didn’t expect to hear it again. Looking down her stomach was on view as she was on her side and she sucked it in, so she looked thinner. Alyssa had always hated the fat she had on her stomach, she wasn’t the bone thin girl she wanted to be, she had starved herself for about 2 weeks, only drinking water. But it made no effect, then she did it for months and still nothing. Some people wanted curves, Alyssa didn’t, she found her wide hips and big breasts ugly and unflattering. She wasn’t even pretty, so to her. She had nothing going for her. She tried to stand up as much as she could to hide the fat that would accumulate at the bottom of her stomach. She either stood or hid it with her hands or cloak.

It had been about 20 minutes since Alyssa had been awake when she opened her eyes fully and yawned. Theon looked down at her as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. Smiling at Theon she turned and seeing the men in the spring, naked she rolled her eyes.

“I'll stay with the horses so you can bathe.” She wanted to kiss his cheek right there and then, but decided against it. Standing up Alyssa quickly walked away to the horses. She sat infront of the kneeling horse and stared it in the eye.

“Who are you then?” She muttered. Slowly she put a hand onto the nose of the horse and stroked him. Behind the ears and in between his eyes back down his nose. Smiling at the horse she stood up and the horse nudged her leg with his nose pushing her.

Next she walked toward the white female horse and got up close to the horse. It welcomed her and pushed its nose on her face making Alysssa smile. She lay a hand on the space between the horses left eye and mouth, closing her eyes and holding it close to her with the white light streaming through the trees.

Walking away from the horses she removed her cloak and dropped it to the muddy ground. Stepping through the trees she felt the wind through her hair and removed the ribbon holding the front pieces back. She began to pin her hair up in an intricate braid only leaving two small pieces of hair by her ear hanging down.

She looked down at the flowing white long sleeved shirt and the just above the ankle length turquoise layered skirt. To her ankle boots and wrapped her arms around herself. She carried on walking forward and looked back hearing laughter. She’d have a few more minutes to be alone. Closing her eyes she let tears from an unknown home stream down her cheeks, making her keel over and fall to the ground. She cried loudly now and had no reason too. Maybe it was the fear, that followed her every day when the Lannister men followed her. The fear of death had been in her mind every day since she fled Winterfell. It haunted her dreams and she couldn’t figure out how to beat it.

Laying a hand behind her neck she let it fall down from her neck over her breasts and down her stomach to her waist and down her thighs to the muddy ground. Implanting her fingers into the mud with eyes closed, crunching the grainy substance between her fingers and letting shivers of coldness over take her. It got under her nails and she felt it make her skirt and legs wet. But it still didn’t bother her.

“I’ll keep you safe, I’ll keep you safe, I’ll keep you safe.” She heard Theon repeat in her head. Over and over until she thought she might bore from his voice, but she did not. All Alyssa wanted was to hear his voice, close to her ears, close enough to touch. She was 5 years younger than Theon, only being 18 but when she was a younger girl of about 14 she started to have crushes, one being Theon. Even when he took Winterfell she just had a sort of desire she couldn’t explain, it disturbed her more than she expected. When the Boltons took Winterfell and Theon vanished from sight, Alyssa cried sometimes thinking about him being flayed and maybe even killed.

Then she saw Reek, being a serving girl her and Reek often encountered each other and a silent understanding washed over the two, a respect of bravery she called it. But she was braver than he, as she was a spy for many. Until she was found out two years later, she was 16, Sansa would have been 19 and about to tske Winterfell. That was when they came looking, the men that were now sworn to the Lannisters, the ones she feared.

Opening her eyes she could still hear a few men laughing as the white light covered her face, so she stood up and walked back to the spring.

“I need to go in soon.” She adressed the pool full of men, her gaze not faulting at the sight of them naked. She searched for Theon and found him with the water up to his neck, he still hadn’t taken the gloves off and then ducked under the water. The men groaned and whined at her but she stood where she was and raised an eyebrow.

About half an hour later the men had got out and sent Alyssa to the horses as they changed. When they came to the horses she got up and walked to the pool. Unbuttoning her shirt she untucked it and let it slip from her shoulders to the grassy floor. Then she realised she couldn’t really get one of the places on the back of her corset. Feeling foolish she called for Theon.

Still with her back turned she turned her head to see him looking worried.

“What’s wrong?” He panted.

“Nothings, wrong, I just can’t get the lace on my corset undone, could you?” Looking a bit taken aback by it Theon stayed where he stood.

“Maybe I should get one of the others to-"

“No.” Alyssa said hurriedly. “I only trust you. You won’t hurt me.” With that, Theon looked down and walked toward her, not making eye contact with her. He just looked at the lace and undid the crosses. _When he had done he took out the last loop and pulled the corset apart slowly, taking his gloves hands from my back to my stomach taking the corset down. I held my breathe not moving._

_His hands stayed on my stomach for a moment then he took the corset back with one hand and lay it next to the shirt. Covering my breasts with my hands I turned to face him._

“Thank you.” _Turning around I unhooked the clasp on my boots and shrugged them off before pulling my stockings down. Going to the buttons on my skirt I noticed Theon had not left, I undid the buttons and unwrapped the material letting it float to the ground next to my clothes. Now just in my small clothes I got a bit self conscious and sucked in my stomach, pulling some of the fat on my hips round to my front so he wouldn’t see my shame. Undoing the lace on my small clothes I let it fall to the ground so I was naked as my name day._

_Theon didn’t move, and as I took the pins from my hair and let the wavy thick mass onto my shoulders I walked toward the spring not looking behind me. I tipped my head back and closed my eyes first to wash my hair, then up my arms and the rest of my body and face._

  
“Its rude to stare.” Alyssa suddenly said, causing some movement to happen behind her. Then a lack of it, sinking down so the water was up to her neck she turned and Theon had fled.

* * *

Theon couldn’t deal with a naked Alyssa straight in front of him, she had curves a woman should want and when he saw her suck her stomach in and make herself look thinner with less curves. He felt like he was making her nervous and left. Walking back to the camp he pulled his hands down his face and pushed back his hair. Not able to get that sight out of his brain. Gael saw Theon looking a bit like he’d seen someone die, and went up to him.

“Theon, what’s up?” He didn’t want to explain he felt it was something that was important to keep between them. A secret that could bring them closer together potentially. So Theon didn’t tell Gael and just went for a walk throughout trees, he saw Alyssa's cloak on the floor near where he was walking and picked it up. It smelled of her.

Walking back toward the spring, Alyssa was on her back with breasts on full display, so he stood behind a tree as she could not see him then.

“I’ve got your cloak.” Theon called out, there was a splash and then silence.

“I was coming out in a minute, can you help me please? You can come out.” She got the water up to her neck and then looked at the corset. Theon stepped forward picking up the corset the laces were at the bottom so Alyssa would have to put it over her head.

“Put your arms up.” Hesitating for a minute Alyssa rose up from the water and quickly turned her back to him, coming to the shallow part of the spring. She lifted her arms up and Theon was pulling the corset down her when Alyssa moved forward a little and Theon fell in the water. He went under the water and Alyssa started laughing. He came up with wet hair and she pushed it back from his face.

“Oh my God’s I’m sorry. But it was funny.” She tried to do the laces on her corset but couldn’t and Theon pulled her hands away putting the laces through each hole and crossing over till he was to the top.

“Okay just turn around while I get out.” Theon rolled his eyes but obeyed. With his back turned he could hear Alyssa coming out of the water, a rustle of clothing, then a crying sound. Theon turned around, she was fully dressed but sitting on a tree stump bare foot crying. Theon got out of the water and water toward her, he asked her what was wrong and she didn’t reply. Then he knelt down infront of her, soaking wet and put out his hand. She took it and they walked.

* * *

“How is she?” Sandor Clegane asked one of the maesters.

“Well, I suppose thank the God’s we found her. Let’s just say, without those maids, we would have no queen in the north, but it seemed she was under the water for a fair amount of time, and swallowed a lot of water. I am not quite sure how blood came up with the water yet. But I will keep reading into it. Although I believe that some of this was brought on by stress. She is pressured all the time and doesn’t have any way to release the energy, and she gets so tired that a warm bath probably didn’t seem uninviting, when she fell asleep.” The Maester sighed and looked at his queen.

“I can stay with her, while she’s sleeping at least. You and the other maesters need rest, I shall get you if something it wrong I swear to it.” Standing tall Sandor Clegane looked quite sincere, so the maesters left and Sandor sank down onto the chair next to the bed.

“I guess I can’t always save you. I should have been in the castle.” Sandor put his head in his hands and then rested his chin on them, looking at the _sleeping beauty. When will she wake? When? When? When?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I changed chapter meaning the unkiss moment is in this chapter not that one. Nothing has changed, so don't worry about it. 
> 
> In this chapter, Sandor stutters his words and Alyssa feels regret.

_**(High up above or down below** _  
_**When you're too in love to let it go** _  
_**But if you never try you'll never know** _  
_**Just what you're worth** _

_**Lights will guide you home** _  
_**And ignite your bones** _  
_**And I will try to fix you** _

_**When tears stream down your face** _  
_**When you lose something you can't replace)** _

When tears streamed down my face I was still holding Theon's hand as they walked behind the pool. Not knowing why I had started to cry, but he made no comment. I leant up against Theon's arm and pulled him close to me. He returned it by moving the hand that held mine and moved it around my waist.

I didn't realise I had no shoes on till a minute ago and I still didn't care. Then seeing Theon had them in his other hand I smiled. Theon probably wouldn't understand how much I wanted to undress him, not just to feed my lust by doing it mentally.

But I suppose I must at least know him first before, if I was to act upon how I felt. As we approached the other men and the horses they tried to hold back their laughter. I couldn't understand who it was for. But we looked quite the pair regardless of humour.

I took my boots from Theon's hand and pulled them on before walking off into the trees. I went to where I was before, but climbed a tree. Leaning against the large branch I was sheltered by the expanse of leaves, no one would see me.

I woke up almost. Well I don't know how long it was, what I do know is that I heard men's voices down below. I was about the call out when I nearly fell out of my tree at the realisation of who it was. It was the Bolton turned Lannister men. I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't run for they would see me, I couldn't yell for help or they would find me, and I doubted the party of men would hear me.

So I stayed completely still and made no movement till I heard one of the voices exclaim.

"Oh. I could use a woman right now, my cock is aching for a good fuck. I think we all know that. We should have stopped at that brothel on the way up here." It was one of the older ones. But I knew there was a younger man, who was at least 18. Although he hadn't fully gone through development and was a stuttering mess with women.

So I needed to wait till he was alone as then I could use being a woman who looks like a whore, to my advantage. To my dismay the rest of the men called out they were going to the spring and leaving the young man. Martyn. I waited till I couldn't hear the other men before I took a deep breathe. Then jumped down from my branch.

Bending my knees then popping my head out from my hair smiling at the boy. I stood up and just began to undress, taking off the skirt first disregarding his stuttered protesting. Then I unbuttoned the shirt, and lay both items of clothing on a tree stump.

  
I then walked quickly to him, and just began to kiss him, taking him aback. The cold of the air hit me, but it was bearable. The man was so skinny. Seven Hells, I'm going to have to indure this. But I reached down and his hands went to my chest and my corset.

Going to his dagger I turned him and slammed his against a tree as I pulled the dagger out of the sheath. Suddenly reaching forward and stabbing it deep in his neck. I pulled it out quickly and pulled it across his neck, then running to my clothes I pulled on the skirt then ran back the the men.

They cheered as I came partly dressed then saw the blood on my hands and a bit on my face. So they stopped, and looked around.

"We have to go now!" I quietly exclaimed. "There here. The Lannister men. Let's go. Come on!" The men snapped into action, I buttoned up my shirt and wrapped my cloak around me. Theon pulled me up in front of him and the horse sprinted off through the trees back, away from the spring toward the mountains.

* * *

  
( _ **While I powder my nose,**_  
_**He will powder his guns,**_  
_**And if I try to get close,**_  
_**He is already gone,**_  
_**Don't know where he's going,**_  
_**I don't know where he's been.**_  
_**But he is restless at night,**_  
_**Cause he has horrible dreams.)**_

Sansa didn't know what the hell was going on as she awoke, in a cold sweat, panting and just wanting to throw all covers off her. Just wanting to be cold again. She couldn't quite place it till she opened her eyes and saw she was in her room. Alone.

She threw the furs back and shoved them onto the floor, pulling the smallclothes that covered her chest off and turning onto her front. Pulling her hair so it was strewn above her head off her neck. On her stomach she spread her legs so she looked like generic bottom half of a star. With just one fur across her backside and legs.

She thought she might see the hound next to her. No that's wrong, he's Sandor now. She didn't think she would get used to calling him Sandor, it was strange. But ever since she had got back to Winterfell. She had been carving her name and his into the stone with a wolf hilted dagger. Sansa Sandor. Sansa + Sandor. Sansa Loves Sandor. Sandor 'heart' Sansa. Sansa Sandor 'in a heart'.

A selection of different ways to express her childish feelings, scratched a million times each on the stone that was covered by a tapestry. She may have thought it childish. But it was almost a way to express things without speech.

That was something Sansa just couldn't do, she couldn't tell anyone. And she didn't want to voice it to herself, because she was so scared of his rejection.

_Everything I do, I mess up. I basically signed the death sentence for my father, I used to love Joffrey, I pushed my sister away, I didn't say goodbye to Robb, or Bran or Rickon or Mother. I didn't even accept Jon as a sibling. Or as anything, I just saw him as a product of dishonesty and betrayal. To think, I thought Jon was a dissapointment._

_How dare I? I was the stupid daughter who couldn't understand the things her younger sister could plainly see. The girl that was infatuated by a cruel cruel boy, who if we're honest was not that attractive. The girl who had the cheek to seriously believe being in kings landing was the most desirable thing in the world._

_I want his arms around me, I want to have no responsibility._

* * *

 

_**(Are you going to age with grace?** _   
_**Are you going to age without mistakes?** _   
_**Are you going to age with grace, or only to wake and hide your face?)** _

When oblivion is calling out your name, you always take it further than I ever can.)

The Hound, a past to Sandor Clegane. But he sometimes brought that old relic off the shelf to show. He didn't think he had to with Sansa, but he felt so foolish being Sandor around her, without realising, she now made him nervous.

His palms seemed to sweat when she was near him, and he always moved his gaze when she looked at him. He wanted to keep her safe but didn't know how. He wasn't as young or as good a soldier as before. Also that Sansa didn't seem to have a want for him, he had felt an almost want when they were together all those years ago.

When he came to her room that night when the green fire danced, he was scared. Maybe Sandor nor The Hound would admit it, but he was so scared and drunk that night that he went to her room in a last attempt to get what he always wanted.

He had wanted her since he had escorted her after that blasted tourney. Even though Sandor felt she somehow, innocently and unknowingly bewitched him. Sandor now believed she had somehow controlled him to do things. Even if she never wanted to, the Starks are said to have strong bonds with their direwolves. After Sansa's had been killed, who's to say she couldn't have the same connection with a dog?

He did, probably believe this off false accusations, but they gave him the strength to stay, as nothing to her.

She didn't shudder when he was near her anymore or move away at the sight of him or just look petrified. She would talk openly to him and he appreciated that greatly.

Sandor didn't need riches or titles he hardly deserved them neither. All he wanted was the settle down, put down his sword and only bring it out when necessary. Live in a small residence, a cottage on the coast mayhaps. With a wife who would be willing to marry him, not be forced. Also one that wasn't a tavern wench. But didn't have to act like a lady.

 _I_ _just want to run, run away. I could, there's nothing stopping me. Hah, I hate liars, can't disregard my only nearly good asset. There's always a little distraction for a dog meaning he won't do what he's bid. Why did mine have to be the girl I had been pining over for the last however many years? Why does everything always turn up shit for me?_

* * *

  
_**(Stranger you've followed me so far**_  
_**Until the roads converged, as did the stars**_

 _**Stranger the moon looks blue tonight** _  
_**Your photo framed, raw within my mind, but not tonight** _

_**Humming Hallelujah in the dark** _  
_**Whispered poems leave you to be** _  
_**Humming Hallelujah in the night** _  
_**The sun might rise, as sometimes does it fall)** _

Sansa still hadn't woken up and Sandor was in the yard taking his anger out on the boys. He couldn't keep his shit in anymore. It hurt to much.

He had to go see her. The three maesters had told him she was stable and that she could be left to sleep. But he thought different, leaving a spar with a boy of ten and seven. To go up to her room. He went quietly and unnoticed.

Knocking on her door there was no answer and so he opened the door, walking in. Taken aback to see her so exposed, he swayed a little as he closed the door. That made her unsettle. Sandor was sure she was now awake. He walked a little closer to the bed and leant his knees against the wood at the foot.

"Sansa." She lifted her head and Sandor tossed a fur to her. Wrapping it around her like a cloak, Sansa turned to see him. She went a little red and Sandor grimaced.

"Why are you here?" She rose up, pulling the colour from her face. Making it more awkward.

"I just wanted to see if you were-"

"That's not your place. The maesters attend to me. You don't, you can't just come in without my knowing. Leave." She looked weak and feeble. More so than before and he didn't move.

"Sansa." He whispered.

"What? Get out this instance, you shouldn't be here. I let you into my home and you disregard." Sandor wasn't listening, muttering "Sansa." In an attempt to shut her up. Then suddenly he snapped.

"SANSA!" He yelled. She stopped talking and curled her legs up toward her.

"Well why are you here?! You don't care about fighting the Lannisters, you couldn't give two shits about any of their incest bred family! So why did you come here?!" Sandor wanted to say it, three words but he couldn't he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Because, I,..." He didn't finish. Sansa suddenly stopped looking angry and bit her lip she leant her chin on her knees.

"You don't,.... I mean..... If you were going to say what I think... you were. You don't, if you did, it wouldn't take you so long to get close to saying it. I don't know what I would do if you said it. Just deny, I suppose, even so. You putting it out into the air, wouldn't make any difference to anything. I would still have to do my duty as a Stark and marry a Lord. Being wardeness of the North, it would just make things more difficult and more painful. I don't think I can deal with anymore pain right now Sandor." He stood stock still. Scared to move.

"Sit here." She motioned to the space next to her, he sat, bringing his legs up,and Sansa shuffled over lowering her head onto his knee. Sandor began to stroke her red hair as she hummed a hymn and Sansa wrapped her hands around Sandor's leg. Her whimpering slowed and she grew silent, but still awake.

"Sandor?" Sansa asked.

"Sansa?" He replied.

"Why don't you call me Little Bird anymore?" She heard Sandor sigh and he didn't answer so she sat up slowly, staring at him, worried.

"Sandor, please." She touched his hand and he pulled it away, standing up.

"I should be going." He headed for the door but Sansa ran after him with her biggest fur around her shoulders, falling down onto her body. Sansa stopped him at the door, holding his arm with such a force that he couldn't resist looking at her. Sansa smiled, and it made every bone in her body twinge and ache when he looked away and couldn't meet her eyeline, she kept him there for a minute expecting him to move his head. But he never did and then understanding he wouldn't. She wrenched his head around with one hand, bringing up her other hand, to hold his face. They weren't nearly close enough to kiss, even if Sansa wanted it, she couldn't.

"You will tell me. Why would you not call me a name I hold so dear and have cherished for years nd years? Please just, Sandor. I know it's not just the name. But I deserve an answer." Sansa dropped her hands from his face and her eyeline to the floor. She heard Sandor sigh and breath heavily inward and outward.

"I can't." He replied, Sansa looked at him with watery eyes, she hit her lip, clearly trying to hold back tears. Digging her nails into her hands, after a while they drew blood, but she didn't seem to care. When Sandor tried to get her hand she moved away walking to the door and locking it.

Laying her blood stained hands on the wood of the door, the blood dropped down onto the floor and she didn't turn as she said.

"Your not leaving till you call me Little Bird. You better make it quick or I'll call my guards and say you locked the door and tried to take advantage of me while I slept. I need this Sandor, as much as you don't, I do." Sansa still didn't turn but shook, as if she was crying. Sandor felt bad, but he couldn't do it. He would rather be dragged away than tell her she was his Lit-, no, he couldn't.

"Do I have to beg?" Sansa turned around eyes streaming with fresh tears.

"Is that what you want? Because I will! I will beg you to call me by my true name, I am not Sansa Stark without The Little Bird and he Hound! She is me and I should be her." Sansa put her hands together and started to mutter, please, please, please, looking at him. Her eyes red and puffy with tears still streaming her cheeks.

"Sansa stop." He said quietly, she carried on hurriedly saying pleads.

"Sansa stop." He growled just a little louder, Sansa didn't care she kept on pleading. Suddenly a huge interruption of sound came from Sandor's mouth as he yelled.

"Sansa stop." This time, she did, wrapping her hands around her, she began to cry again, sinking to the floor and leaning against dresser, she crumpled up into a drained mess.

"Do you see? Don't you understand? Please. Sandor." He gritted his teeth.

"Don't degrade your self so much, that you would beg to a dog. Don't you dare ever beg for anything, I am not worth it. You are worth more than I ever shall." Sansa hushed her crying and put her head on her knees. She heard him crouch down near her, but she never brought her face up to meet his, only stood and walked to the chest near her bed. Throwing it open she brought out a white fur cloak, pushing Clegane to the door she unlocked it and shoveling outside, tossing the cloak at him.

"There, there's the last time you saw your Little Bird."  
Sansa slammed the door and locked it, then turning her back to the door and sinking down, crying her heart out.

* * *

  
_**(I can't forget it,**_  
_**Though I've tried**_  
_**I know you regret it, love,**_  
_**You told me so many times.**_

 _**But I still wonder** _  
_**Why** _  
_**You left with her** _  
_**And left me behind)** _

Sandor sighed leaning against the door, he could hear her crying on the floor near the door and he sank down to the door. Resting his elbows on his knees, he could feel his pressure was pushing the door back and her crys were suddenly silent. He could still hear her heavy breathing and the low hitching in breath.

The door was then opening and Sandor stood up hurriedly, as she turned to him, not saying anything he couldn't understand why he didn't lurch forward and kiss her.

"Do you hate me?" She asked. He couldn't comprehend such a thought and didn't answer, with no emotion running over his face.

"Do you? Because, I don't think you want your Little Bird anymore, you've robbed me of her. Why? She was who I  
was when I was with you! She is what I was, what I want to be. Allow me to be her, call me by her name. Please. As some compromise for things I can't have." Sandor opened his mouth, but he saint say anything, clamping it shut.

"Say it. Whatever you were going to say."

"I just, are you ashamed of, Sansa. She is who you are now, are you ashamed of her, to be, her?" Sansa looked down and didn't say anymore thing now, Sandor reached forward trying to bring up her chin but she moved away from his hand.

"Yes, okay, yes I am. I hate her. I hate being Sansa, I hate looking at Sansa every day, I hate seeing Winterfell sometimes, because Sansa lived and still lives in it. I hate seeing any of my clothes because she wears them, I despise seeing the snow, I despise seeing the crypts, I hate seeing the feather in my dead aunts hand.

I hated seeing the bodies of my family, I hate hearing stories that my others are dead. But do you know the thing I hate the most, out of everything? You. I hate you more than any Winterfell, more than any crypt or any piece of snow. You have the indecency to not name the one thing that had ever given me hope in this dark and desolate world. Then you just expect for me to be okay with you ignoring me, always, always. Why couldn't you just say, just once, you stupid little bird, or yes little bird, or no little bird, or maybe even say, I want to stay little bird. Not even an apology. How hard is it?" Sandor stood in ashamed silence, he understood now. But thought it too late.

"But maybe I want to say, Sansa your stupid, or yes Sansa, or no Sansa, or maybe even say, I want to stay Sansan, or I'm sorry Sansa. Can't I call you who you are now? Sansa is just an older Little bird. You can't always want the past Sansa, it is a false hope that can't happen." She swallowed.

"But I don't want to be seen as older, I hate being an adult, hate it, I want to be a child. She was what I was, as a child! I was hardly ever Sansa. That was what my family called me, and I got rid of those memories." She rested her hand on the door and sniffed wiping back tears.

"I never told anyone you know. I never spoke a word of what happened at the Blackwater. I never told a soul." At Sandor's confused look, Sansa carried on.

"The kiss. The kiss you gave me, it got me so confused and I didn't understa-"

"When, what? I didn't kiss you. I've never kissed you." But Sandor regretted saying it as soon as he had, tears began to stream down Sansa's face, uncontrollably, she couldn't cope with it. Her mouth opened to speak but she shut it and didn't seem to want to open it again.

"I was so sure. I... how could I have been so, wrong. But, at the Vale, I dreamed a dream." Her face was so depressed and saddened by the reality he hadn't the heart to tell her she was stupid.

"Why would it matter anyway, birds don't like dogs." Sansa looked up then, she smiled weakly.

"This one does. Goodnight Sandor." She said closing the door but Sandor wasn’t ready, and he held the door open.

"If you'll allow it. I pledge you, my sword, and my service till the day I shall hence forth not be able to give it, or you take me from your sword." He knew what he was getting into when he thrust forward the long sword that wasn't his to her on his knees. He knew he would almost have to accept a knighthood. But he knew she understood his disgust toward it.

"Sandor, what are you doing?" Her response surprised him, as she pushed the hilt of the sword into his hand.

"Swearing from sword and to be your sworn shield."

"Don't. We both know you don't want to be a knight, so what's the point. Since when have you ever wanted to be a sword shield? Ever since Joffrey I assumed you hated the job. I thought you were strong willed, maybe I was wrong, perhaps you never stopped being a dog." Even if he was hurt by the words, he saint show it, gritting his teeth and glaring at her.

"Or perhaps I would do anything to stay as close to you as was permitted." He replied. Sansa bit her lip, and her expression softened. She put out her hand and he took it, bringing him through the doorway she closed the door and then clutched to his middle. Digging her head into his tunic and wrapping her arms tightly around his stomach. Her head only came up to his chest, but he stroked her hair all the same.

* * *

 

 **_(Can you lie next to her_ **  
**_And give her your heart, your heart_ **  
**_As well as your body?_ **  
**_And can you lie next to her_ **  
**_And confess your love, your love_ **  
**_As well as your folly?)_ **

_I've wanted this, I've needed this. To just hold her, I just want to be better if I can and I believe I could if she is close to me. But only then would I have a want to be better, if she is close to me as she is now, I could cope._

"I just want it all to go away, I don't want to be a stark, I just want to be a lesser known lady. I don't want to be part of the game of thrones and I don't care about winning this fucking war. I just want love Sandor. I just want love." She looked up late him then before wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her head into his shoulder. He ran his hands through the tangled mess of her hair, and down her neck.

"At this time a little bird. For you anyway, it could be, to much to ask. You don't have the privilege or liberty of choosing who you marry truthfully. You will be expected to marry a high Lord, leaving the stark line questionable." Sandor said into her hair, and she groaned, with I slight whimper.

"I could choose love. If I really wanted. Which I do, I want you to understand that I do want to, but I can't. I Shit on my name, Stark. Fat lot of use a girl turned out to be. I can never live up to my name ever, not since I was infatuated with Joffrey, I can't justify anything." Sandor was pulling away at this point. He didn't want to stay any longer, plus the strain in his breeches was becoming quite noticeable.

"Go then." Sansa turned around and went over to her bed, wrapped the fur she alreadly had around herself tighter to her, and covering herself with the others. Walking over to her again, she put a hand on her side and she pulled his hand.

"Hold me." She said, it seemed such as easy remark. But a clumsy man such as Sandor, didn't really know how to hold, so she showed him. Pulling his hand down so it was at her face, she leant on it and put his arm under hers. This forced him to lie behind her, he put his other arm underneath her neck and she rolled over to cuddle into his chest.

"This has to be the last time we are close. We shouldn't really talk either, I can't see you and not... I just can't. Appreciate that, please." Sansa said into his chest. He clutched her closer then, not wanting the moment to end.

* * *

 

_**(Oh tell me Lord, why am I here?** _

_**Lost in all our pain and sorrow** _

_**Are we to live in pain and fear?** _

_**Oh tell me Lord, why am I here?)** _

The party of now about seven had ride up into the mountainous regions of Skagos. Their first experience of the terrain. Theon held onto me tightly with an arm around my stomach. Alyssa hadn't wanted to fall asleep, to afraid the would kill her when she couldn't even make a struggle.

As the party came to a stop on the side of a mountain, there was a small cave near them and as they dismounted, the group strode it. She collapsed on the ground and clutched her knees while the men stood around rubbing their chins and heads, looking worried and puzzled.

"I'm sorry." Alyssa finally said. The men didn't seem to understand and she carried on. "If I wasn't here, then you wouldn't have had to run from those men. I'm sorry." Theon walked to stand in front of her.

"No. I wouldn't let you not come with us. It's my fault. Why couldn't I just stay on task." Theon mumbled. Alyssa looked out at the sky getting darker then at the three men that went out to get some wood for the fire.

The other two men had gone outside to scope out the grounds near the cave and Alyssa sat next to Theon, leaning her head on his shoulder she sighed and tried to hold his hand but he pulled it away. Feeling hurt Alyssa moved away from him and pulled her cloak close to her, turned away from him. She suddenly felt a hand tugging at her cloak, with no words she turned to face him and fell into his arms. Leaning on his chest Theons hands wrapped around her safely. She cried in his arms, silently her back heaved and she sniffed occasionally.

"Why can't I just have one normal thing?" Alyssa said in a croaky voice. "All is want, is one thing that doesn't turn up shit in the end."

"I could try and be the Shit that doesn't turn up. I know we haven't know each other for to long but-" Theon trailed off as Alyssa straddled him, she held his face in her hands and Theon took down the hood on her cloak. Unfastening it at the laces near her neck and letting the fabric fall to the ground.

Leaning forward reward ever so slightly, Alyssa could just make out his face, his breath hot on her face. Her heart in her mouth she pressed her chest up against him and he groaned, low and intense as Alyssa slowly grinded herself on his crotch.

"Kiss me." Alyssa whispered in his ear, close up against him as he put his hands on her back and down to her backside. Pulling her closer to him. Theon made no other movements expect for the occasional thrust of his hips. But Alyssa looked at him from a safe distance. She made no movement, the dark of night was returning and soon, so would the other men.

She didn't want to cry in front of him, she didn't want to cry ever again. A waste really, tears wasted on cowards and high lords. Who never would want anything from her, accept her cunt, was that all she was good for? Fucking? Not even desirable, was she really that ugly? That fat, that repulsive, that a kiss in that moment meant nothing to him?

_I knew it, why did I eat, why do I even eat, I'm a fucking pig. Why can't I just die? I could. Just take his sword and slit my throat or just wait for those Lannister men. That's all I have to do, slip away now, slip away._

Standing up Alyssa looked to the mouth of the cave, which she could roughly see and she tried her cloak at her neck. She couldn't see what she was doing but then she heard it, a small whimper of a name. Her name.

"Alyssa." Theon. She felt her eyes welling up, but she closed her eyes and spoke.

"I'm sorry Theon." Then she disappeared into the night


	7. Chapter 7

_**(Help me, if you can I'm feelin' down** _  
_**And I do appreciate you being 'round** _  
_**Won't you help me get my feet back on the ground** _  
_**Won't you please, please help me** _

_**And now my life has changed in so many ways** _  
_**My independence seemed to vanish in the haze** _  
_**But every now and then I feel so insecure** _  
_**I know that I need your light, I never done before)** _

Running, cunning, crying, dying, fate, hate, blood, mud, snow, crow. Words that circled Sansa's dream, and haunted her nightmares. 

 [Picset, follow me on tumblr](http://sansasandorshipper.tumblr.com/post/131074667255/liar-chapter-7)

"No, no stop. Stop please no!" It was happening again the near rape, suddenly she saw Sandor he would rescue her like he always did. But he reached through her, and the men carried on. He was killing the men, but they hadn't stopped, she was still getting attacked. He was saving a different Sansa, he was saving The Little Bird. He couldn't save Sansa from her fate. As the man ripped her dress, showed he nakedness to the others. She looked longingly over to the corresponding rescue she knew happened. Then suddenly, she was in snow, she wasnt in that barn, and they weren't the same men. They were northmen, she screamed even louder now.

It wasn't a dream, the man clamped his hand over her mouth and she bit it, causing him to slap her, spreading her legs Sansa tried, hopelessly to push him away, it was just three men this time and the other two held her down, th is isn't a dream, their going ro rspe and kill me.

"HELP ME PLEASE. SANDOR SANDOR SANDOR!" She screamed, her attempts didn't make any difference and the man was trying hurriedly to get his manhood from his breeches when he let go of Sansa and fell backward. Sansa had her eyes closed and suddenly the other men weren't holding her down anymore, crying Sansa fell sideways onto the snow and covered her face.

After a while she opened her eyes and there, clear as day was a girl,her hair was dark brown and shoulder length with the front half braided back, she had dark eyes and wore a tunic and breeches, she was small and there was a short thin sword at her side on her belt. It was Arya. Her baby sister.

Sitting up quickly she looked at her sister, who suddenly had tears in her eyes, falling to the floor, on her knees, Arya hugged her close. Shaking and crying as the two fell to the floor, Sansa heard shouting far away but it died down. Gripping Arya's clothes Sansa never wanted to let go, the little sister she thought was dead, was back. She was home.

She could hear Sandor breathing out fast, recognising his breathing, the shouting had stopped and there was hushed talking. Arya pulled Sansa up and helped her stand, her hair must have been out of place and dress ruined, she wrapped her cloak around herself to cover herself modestly.

"Now, all of you, I'm Arya Stark, and I am royally telling you all to fuck off. If any of you bastards try anything like this, I'll stick you with the pointy end, want to rape my sister, go and take a hike, your never getting through me." Arya yelled at the men, Sansa nearly fell backward, her head was spinning but Arya had a strong hand behind her.

"Wolfbitch. Your back." Clegane looked at Arya.

"And your still as fucking ugly as you were when I last as you dying on a hillside." The soldiers laughed, and Arya gave them a death stare making them all shut up. Arya guided Sansa through the men who moved out the way and took her to her tent.

Sansa remembered now, she and some soldiers and Sandor, had gone out to try and find who was stealing all the produce that the smallfolk were growing, but Sansa had wanted to come and they had had to camp out. Sansa in early morning had wanted a walk, so she had gone. Then got hit lver the hesd from behind and started to hallucinate images of Sandor saving her. Going to sleep, Sansa's inevitable dreams were haunted by him.

She was a woman of twenty two, she had to pull her self composure together.

* * *

 

_**(Run straight through the valley** _

_**And end up where you've wanted to be** _

_**Swim past the shadows** _

_**And the words that echo off the street If you're looking for truth** _

_**Don't come looking for me** _

_**You're better off not knowing** _

_**Cause your own story** _

_**Is the safest place you'll ever be)** _

Rickon wasn't one to stay in a place long, but Skagos was different, no one knew he was Rickon Stark no one cared who he was, he was just another widling.... with a direwolf. But still, Shaggy would kill anyone who threatening him and Osha.

Being in the North of Skagos was different to Winterfell, it was mountainous and dangerous, rocky and hilly and most people died on the descent of ascent. But Osha knew the ways of such places, being a wildling she had a certain understanding of mountains and how they moved, that's what she said.

One morning Rickon woke up, from sleeping on Shaggydog's stomach, stretching he pushed back his hair and walked to the edge of the cliff, looking out on the sunrise. He couldn't speak the best common tounge, well, at least, he couldn't speak the language his father and mother had spoken. His was more rugged and relaxed, with slang and abbreviations used, where they spoke, proper, properly.

To his right was the rocky precarious road he took most mornings, behind him was the cave, Shaggy, and Osha, in front of him was a bit of land, rocks, hills, then dark deep sea. Looking to his right, he jumped, a blonde girl lay on the rocks head to the ground, back slowly and hardly raising. Her cloak was ripped and she was only just a love if he was honest. He walked toward the body, and it seemed to stop twitching. Kneeling down, he poked the body and it moved a hand to pull its cloak around it, then after a few moments, it sat up and pushed back it's hair.

Gr _eyscale, it had greyscale!_ Rickon jumped backward and hit hard on the rocks under him, scrabbling away from her he tried to keep his distance but the girl walked toward him.

"Stay back bitch, don't infect me!" The girl stopped and turned. Rickon felt a twinge of guilt, but chose not to show it.

"Why is you's here?" He asked.

"Why do you care?" The girl retorted.

"I might as well know."

"I ran away, people thought I was ugly, and I hated my parents, I wanted to get away from them. So I ran. What about you?" Rickon was trying to place two with two, but couldn't think of anything. He knew this girl wasn't from the island, he could tell she was well spoken and probably well read. So most likely, she was highborn, but he couldn't remember enough of the daughters of lords to know. There was a small part of his brain that was telling him she was highborn, daughter of _a... rebel?_ Maybe.

"I had to leave. Who is you, some highborn lady come to spit on us savages?" She shook her head.

"I just wanted to leave, go anywhere, I am a highborn, I wish I wasn't, but I am and if you want to hurt me, go ahead. I have no quarrel with you, I admire the Skagosi really. They just don't give a shit, everyone around me was about honour and war and courage and lady like manners. Only one person understood me, my mother hated me, and my father wanted me killed. So, if you think I've come to spit on you, I haven't, but believe what you want." She kept her back turned, but Rickon heard and understood every word.

"I'm not Skagosi, I'm a northman, it runs in my blood." The girl turned to face him, face puzzled.

"I used to live in, the North. Till I had to run away, people had, tried to hurt. My family." Looking nervous, Rickon looked from the floor to the sky to the girl.

"Me and a few others, had to run from everything. Away from, my old life. Some of my family is dead, and I don't know where the rest of them are. Either dead or lost I guess." The girl bit her lip, and Rickon was afraid she'd know who he was.

"Your not.... a, Lords son, are you?"

"He's dead. I suppose, I used to be." Rickon's palms began to sweat. Why was he letting her ask him.

"So your mother was highborn too?" He nodded.

"Did you have brothers and sisters?" Slowly, Rickon made a nod of his head. The girl seemed to finally understand who he was.

"I know, I think, I think I know who you are. But I won't say it here." Walking toward him, the girl got close to his ear and whispered.

"Winter is coming." Then she walked past him, and Rickon finally knew who she was.

"Ours is the fury!" He yelled after her, and she smiled back at him.

* * *

_**(Everywhere I go I see your face** _

_**Every sound I hear is the sound of your voice** _  
_**Why are you haunting me** _  
_**Why are you haunting me** _  
_**Why can't I let you go** _

_**Why are you haunting me?** _  
_**Why are you haunting me?** _  
_**Why are you haunting me?** _  
_**Why are you haunting me?** _

_**Everything about me is a lie** _  
_**At least it seems that way when I look in your eyes** _  
_**The truth scares the shit out of me** _  
_**Whoever said love is real and love is blood** _  
_**has never felt the way that I do )** _

The sounds of her screams had awoken him, he could recognise them a mile off. He was fully dressed in a minute, strapping his sword to his belt, when suddenly her cries ceased, and he hoped for the worst., running for all that way holy and good in the world. Sandor tried to get there in time, only greeted by three dead northmen, a little bird with a very ripped dress and a world bitch hugging her.

He couldn't help the wave of relief that's a shed over him, the wolf bitch, as annoying as she was, could wield a sword and had no shame in murdering a man. Sandor and a number of soldiers stood panting iin front of their Queen, waiting, watching, most probably didn't know who the wolf bitch was, which made the situation awkward. As the wolf bitch made her proclamations to the soldiers, Sandor chuckled at how she scared the soldiers a little. The men would never admit it, but the little girl frightened them some what. As the two woman walked back to Sansa's tent, Sandor turned and went to his. Trying to rest, they wouldn't move till their Queen was awake and Sandor had no plans to listen to anyone else.

He dreamed of her being the Queen in Kings Landing. But Joffrey was king. There was no battle of the Blackwater, no bread riot, Joffrey was still as hell sent and evil as before, but nothing ever happened to him, Sandor never even got close to Sansa.

She sat next to that God's forsaken chair of blades on a simple wooden padded one. After court he would escort the Queen to her room, and she would go in without a word. He would have to keep guard outside the royal bed chamber, and hear her screams most nights.

Sandor saw years and years pass, her hair got longer, she got taller, and just got more and more battered and bruised, and a lot thinner. She was home thin at the last memory before he woke up. He'd saved her from that fate, at least.

A few days past, till they headed back for Winterfell, and arriving apon the stronghold, he could see the Wolf Bitcheck, and he face looked as if she might cry at any moment. Un-saddling Stranger, Sandor contemplated over life as of present, he was close to her, she seemed to like him still. But there would always be a mistrust, and she didn't seem to want him to be close to her.

All Sandor wanted was to marry her, take her somewhere no one could hurt her, protect her and have her as his own. He was almost, well he was quite certain that it wasn't to do with his appearance or his actions or demeanour.

_It is isn't it. My harshness, and hardness against her has affected everything, it always does, why can't I at least be kind to her. She deserves it, I couldn't even call her a fucking name. Let alone be kind to her, fat lot of use i would be as a husband. Even Gregor had wives, he had three wives, the monster twice through, no one wants to marry me, but they'll marry him. They'd rather a monster, than a man who looks like a monster but isn't one? She wouldn't be that shallow. Would she?_

_Well, I suppose, she's beautiful, that would count for something, and the fact that she even wants me here, is strange enough. Sympathy, ah, that's it, she doesnt care for me. It's just plain black and white sympathy, there is no, affection, behind it. Plain sympathy, I should be happy with that, but of course I want more than I can have. That's never a good sign, when she most definitely cannot give me what I want from her. Besides honour, she doesn't want to give her maidenhead to me._

* * *

 Theon wasn't one to be to hung up on someone, but he couldn't stop being preoccupied by the fact that Alyssa had left him. Her warm presence was no longer next to him, or in front of him. He missed her, he missed her. It wasn't hard to explain the the rest of the men, they quietly accepted and got on with their lives. Theon knew he had to as well. His task was to find Rickon Stark.

The party of about six were riding along a cascade of rocky territories that seemed precarious but they stayed on the strong half of the cliff. It was on this ride that Theon saw a blonde cloaked girl walking toward them. No woman in Skagos had a cloak of such embroidery or style. Highborns wore those. Theon stopped the company and approached the girl who looked cared to death.

"Its okay, I'm here on permission of Her Lady Sansa Stark, Queen in the North. I shall not harm you, whoever you are." Theon noted that she had greyscale but did not seemed infected as of presence, there was only one girl he knew of in all of Westeros who was like that. Theon bowed and then the rest of the party did, just following their leader. The girl looked taken aback and a slight annoyed.

"My Lady, I should not advise you to stay here, let me take you back to Lady Sansa and we can keep you there through winter. If it is secrecy you wish for. I can help you." The girl he suspected to be Shireen Baratheon nodded and Theon directed him to one of the horses. Staying off his, Theon walked.

"There is something, I think you should know, Greyjoy. If that is who you are." Theon nodded.

"Rickon Stark and his direwolf, are just up this rocky road. I spoke with him at the rising of this morning's sun. He recognized me to, I think. Or at least as a Baratheon, I told him I knew who he was, but he didn't seem to bothered." Theon nearly fell to the floor, Rickon, was here. Shireen had talked to him? He couldn't believe his luck.

The party quickly made the ascent up the rocky road and came to the cave that Shireen spoke of. Theon walked toward it and walked in, Shaggydog was on the floor and growled at the Greyjoy, the wildling woman who would have seen him was sharpening a stick and Rickon was holding back his wolf.

"Your sister sent me, Lady Sansa Stark, Queen in the North. She asked me to find you. All she wants, is to see you, and know your safe. She might not even expect you to stay. But she's been searching for all her remaining family and friends she can find. You are one of them and I think she would appreciate it if you went to her." Rickon made no movement, but the wildling woman stood up.

"Proove to us, you's ain't lying and won't murder the little Lord." Theon stepped toward Osha, pulling out a letter from Sansa. It read,

 **Rickon,**  
**It's Sansa, I know your probably annoyed and angry with me, with all of the North. I'm so so sorry, you had to leave Winterfell, and I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye to you, I'm sorry that you couldn't understand everything that was going on. You were younger and now your seven years older and I feel personally responsible for your well being. So please. Go with Theon Greyjoy and his party, come to Winterfell so I can see your okay, or at least that I can talk to the brother I haven't seen in seven years. It pains me to not know if you are alive, so if you are reading this. Come home.**

 **Your loving sister,**  
**Sansa**

It was signed with her signature and the Stark sigil was beside it. Osha bit her lip and talked to Rickon in hushed tones. The two turned around to face Greyjoy and Osha nodded. The three and Shaggydog walked around the corner, and Rickon stopped. He must have seen Shireen.

"You's have horses. I'll have none of it, prefer to walk, don't trust no beast of man. Specially not that one." She nodded to Shaggydog and Rickon sighed.

"Little Lord, share with the girl and don't complain. You don't know how to ride a horse. So shut it and get up behind er'." Glaring at Osha, Rickon got up on the saddle behind Shireen, a small smile tugging at the princesses face. Theon walked with Osha and Shaggydog stayed at the feet of the horse that Rickon and Lady Shireen were on.

Throughout the day, only the company really talked, Osha said the occasional word to Rickon, and Shireen never said she word. When they came to another cave and it was nearing the evening, the horses stopped and everyone jumped off their horses swiftly, except Shireen, she waited till Rickon had got off and only Osha remained with her.

* * *

 

 _Oh no, oh God's, oh my Gods, oh fucking Shit. I'm dead, I'm actually dead, if I stand up, I'm dead!_  Was all Shireen could think as of present. Osha, the wildling had walked up to her horse, and Shireen was glad the others had gone. Her moonblood had come while she was on the horse and gone through her small clothes, defiantly staining the saddle, she was sure it would happen.

"Ill pull the horse over ere' lass." The woman told her. Shireen could almost tell that the woman knew something was wrong, she'd seen that, with most women, aside from her mother, they could see when another was distressed. Shireen looked nervously at the floor.

"They can't ere' us, Little Princess, what's wrong?"

"My, moonblood." Shireen whispered very quietly, Osha smiled and put out her hand. Shireen clambered off, and ripping off some of her skirt she wiped the saddle clean, it was pretty disgusting that the men wouldn't know, but fuck it, she would be sitting there.

Osha handed her a piece of fabric and going into the shadow, Shireen put it in her small clothes, that were drying up, or would eventually. It was embarrassing to say the least, Shireen hated moonbloods, not only could she get pregnant, it could also happen at any time. It mostly happened on a recognizable cycle, but sometimes, the cycle went off the wall and just happened whenever it wanted. The two women walked into the cave, in which five of them were stood up and looked like they were planning to go out.

"Were just going hunting, be back soon." Now it left Theon, Osha, Rickon, Shireen and Shaggydog. Shireen sat close to the makeshift fire on the floor, the great direwolf, with no tempting, climbed into Shireen's lap, his upper body draped over her crossed legs. The four looked as surprised as each other.

Putting her hand on the the furry back of the wolf, it did not growl and as Shireen sstroked the wold it grew limp and then fell asleep.

"Does he normally do this?" Shireen asked Rickon. He shook his head.

"He's never even done it with me." The boy looked crestfallen and Shireen averted her gaze, shuffling back a little, Shireen lay on her side and put her arm over the wolf, stroking his stomach as they both fell asleep next to the fire.

* * *

 

 **_(It came to the end it seems you had heard_ **  
**_As we walked the city streets_ **  
**_You never said a word_ **

**_When we finally sat down_ **  
**_Your eyes were full of spite_ **  
**_I was desperate, I was weak_ **  
**_I could not put up a fight_ **

**_But where are you now?_ **  
**_Where are you now?_ **  
**_Do you ever think of me_ **  
**_In the quiet, in the crowd?)_ **

  
Sansa felt like he didn't care. She felt that he couldn't understand she was constantly in pain and worried about most things. Everything that ever happened to her, or on Winterfell or even to other people worried her. Whether it was looking for her family, battle plans, meetings, talking to Sandor, sleeping, reading, writing, mourning, walking, snow, storms, and everything else you could expect to happen to anyone. She would be worried about it. When people told her to, relax, and take things off her plate, she would reply, well she wished she could reply with, d _o you run a rebellion, do you want to stop three fucking dragons and a crazy white haired bitch from becoming queen? No, you dont._

But she never did, and always thought of it the day after while in bed, which made her worry, and made her get no sleep. She hardly ever slept, it was a fundamental thing, and she never got enough, getting three hours was good for her. Eight hours were unheard of.

So when she nearly got raped and Sandor didn't save her, and even when he was there be didn't come to her side or even talk to her, she felt angry. She felt very angry, and she wanted to hurt him again, show him how it could hurt, how she could hurt him. She'd show him, show him and his fucking harsh demeanour.

She would find a suitor, make him jealous, maybe even marry, anything to get some emotion out of the lying beast. He seemed cold and emotionless with her, was it her, how could it be her fault? How could he ever think of her, there was no proof he ever did.

The day after they had returned from Winterfell Sansa walked down the back stone staircase to the kitchens and picked up an apple on the way out of the back door. Tying her cloak at her neck, Sansa walked to the Godswood and lay on the snowy ground, eating her apple. She hated guards, they restricted her and people always hated it when she had any with her.

She could protect herself, she didn't need guards, she didn't need Sandor or Arya, she could look after herself, protect herself, everyone thought she was helpless. She'd show them. Her pale fingers held the apple and holding it in front of her face, Sansa blinked and suddenly it turned into a glass sphere, with blood on the bitten cracks. Standing up quickly she looked at the sphere in fear.

Dropping the glass it did not shatter. It was an apple, touching her mouth, there wasn't any blood and there was not a thumping in her head or an intense pain in her mouth. All she could taste was sweet apple flesh. Picking it up she scratched her finger nail against the flesh and it really was fruit. She was sure it may not hurt her. CRACK.

Sansa's finger stopped moving. She didn't breath, she just ran. But there were footsteps behind her, she dropped the apple on the ground and suddenly her cloak caught under sheer dress and she fell backward. The footsteps were still coming, Sansa screamed and ran to the right, further and further away from Winterfell. Then there was a shout from near the neck of the Godswood and the entrance.

It shouted,

"LITTLE BIRD!" She kept running and the footsteps carried on. Sansa suddenly jumped in front of a tree, there was the yelling of Little Bird, and another set of footsteps, and then a laugh.

"Lady Sansa, isn't it rude to hide from your guests, I've been in your dungeon for far too long, and I thought I might get out. But I suppose the fact that I don't have any reinforcements doesn't matter considering I have a sharp knife for flaying." Sansa nearly cried out, she new he was roo close to out run now, even the fact that Sandor was close didn't encourage her.

Then everything went deathly quiet. Sansa didn't breath and made herself the smallest she possible could.


End file.
